Lost & Found
by MrsPattinson69
Summary: Bella loses her parents, but she has the cullens,tanya comes at bella because of her interupted obsession with Edward.Edward leaves so that bella hs a chance at normal life.What if she's changed when he leaves,By who?Will they meet again?
1. Lots to learn

**Chapter One**

**The Start of the End...**

**BPOV**

It was February 28th, a day as wet and sloshy as you'd expect in my little home town of Forks, Washington.

I woke up with a hunch that soon enough something bad was going to happen, but thinking nothing more of it, I let it pass.

_Morning..._

I looked over at the source of the sound shrilling through my sleep sensitive ears.

(6:30am)

"Stupid Ben-10" I muttered in a groggy tone, as I flung my arm at my alarm clock which was playing the theme song for the cartoon Ben-10.I pushed up out of my warm bed hesitantly, before I walked into the bathroom my room conjoined onto to have my routine wake up shower.

Once I had dressed myself in my new Green Sweater and Blue Levi jeans, Alice had recently bought for me on our latest shopping spree, I stumbled downstairs to grab a quick brekkie before I headed for school.

"Morning Bells" My dad Charlie said in a rather fresh tone.

" I was wondering if you were even going to make it down for breakfast, you do know it's bad for your skin if you fall asleep in a shower, it may just one day wrinkle up like a little prune and fall right off" He smirked rather proud of his comment.

I had come to appreciate my father's cheesy jokes, even though they weren't at all funny, the fact that he thought they were was rather hilarious.

"I'll make sure that I don't happen to put you in the shower when your asleep then wont I" I said jokingly and continued "Cause heaven forbid my father to turn into a wrinkle prune" I chuckled.

"Mmm, well yes that would be wise, I don't want to age anymore than I am already!" he said with a grin.

"Sure dad, whatever you say". I replied then changed the subject, "Hey, where's Mum, Shouldn't she be up?"

"Yeah, she's gone already, Mr Hopkins called her late last night and asked if she'd go in for an earlier start, but she did tell me to tell you to have a good day and that she loves her beautiful girl." Dad said with a cheerful smile slowly spreading up and over his cheeks to touch his eyes.

I smiled back.

"Well, guess I better get going dad, be careful." I added,

"Always am, Have a good day bells." He added as he shoved his last piece of crust into his mouth and gulped down his half full cup of black coffee.

"You too!" I yelled behind as I rushed out the door and thumped into my big beast, my Chevrolet, the car mum and Charlie bought for me off billy black for my 16th.I was so happy with this car, I couldn't have asked for anything better fit for me. Though I will admit she's nothing to look at, she's all I want. No one and I mean NO one is to hate the car.

* * *

I drove into the school parking lots and slid into my usual parking space in front of the office, set diagonally across the parking lot from Edward. My Edward. The boy I have utterly and irrevocably fallen in love with. _The_ Edward Cullen every girl drools over and he for some stupid fucked up reason, that I still to this day thank my stars for, loves me as I love him.

"Bella!" I heard a familiar voice say as it drifted closer.

"There you are, where the heck have you been, do you think that we could go shopping this weekend, I mean, seriously, there's going to be this HUGE sale on at the mall and Edward can wait, he gets you all the time, it's way unfair your my sister too."Alice stated as she suddenly popped into view just inches from my own face.

"Alice..." I began before she pouted her lip and looked up at me innocently, That look should be classified as illegal, because there's no way someone could say no to that face, even if she was asking you to commit the worst crime possible.

I exhaled loudly in defeat and automatically before I could even get a word in, Alice started jigging on the spot as a big champions smile expanded across her pixie like face.

"Yay, thankyou sooo much Bella, you won't regret it, this is going to be heaps of fun I promise" Alice chanted as she still did her little happy dance on the spot.

"I'm sure it will be" I whispered under my breath remembering the very first time Alice made me go shopping with her...

"_Bella come quick, oh my gosh this is perfect for you!" She said holding up a formal designed peach dress against my front._

"_Yeah Alice, it's pretty." I sighed, "Can we get this and go now?" I asked completely stuffed._

"_What the hell are you on Bella; please tell me you were joking right; we've still got like 8 shops to go!"Alice explained sounding a little offended._

"_Jesus Christ Alice, my feet are going to drop off, look at them, I said raising my right foot slightly as if to support my point, they're going to be scarred for life with all these blisters." I complained, _

"_We've been to like 100 shops today, aren't you tired?"_

_And that's when Alice stopped abruptly and turned to face me, this time with no innocence on her face what so ever, instead it was arranged into a horror stricken and wildly angry scowl as she said, "What did you just say? Tired, did you say tired, because if you did I'm going to have put you on a coat hanger and sell you to China, never will I be tired of shopping are you utterly mad?" She said in disbelief and continued, " You are going to take your shoes off and put them in this bag" she handed me a plastic bag that had held some accessories from Switch and then demanded " you are going to buy this beautiful dress, you are going to walk to the next 8 shops with me, you are going to SHOP and you are going to love it sick!" Do you understand?_

_All I could do at that moment was laugh at her seriousness, I burst into hysterics even slapping my knee a couple times, my whole frame was shaking convulsively as the laughter roared from me, and then finally after a minute or two Alice cleared all composure from her face and began to chuckle along with me._

"_God I love you Alice, your fucking awesome." I said as I wiped my hand along my eyes clearing away the laughter tears. Then I continued,_

"_Ok Alice today you win, let's go shopping, but only with one condition." I spatially added, _

" _After all of this today, you and I have a quiet week in, no more shopping, my feet will need their time to heal, hopefully they won't deform too majorly" I stated with a grin._

"_DEAL!!!"She shot back at me, then I herd her whisper something about there being no good sales on for a couple weeks anyway._

_I rolled my eyes, this girl and her shopping is going to be the death of me. I thought._

_That night after Alice dropped me straight home, I got inside and pretty much collapsed onto my bed, not even bothering to eat._

* * *

I smiled at the memories when two strong arms wrapped around my waist, pressing my back against their granite body, and a velvet voice whispered into my ear "Good Morning my Bella."

Instantly I felt complete bliss and satisfaction.

His sweet breath grazed the side of my face and I dragged in a slow breath savouring the moment.

"Well good morning to you too, Mr Dazzling." I Chuckled.

That was my occasional nickname for Edward. He dazzled me so completely that I felt it perfect to match that name with him and all his god like features.

As I turned to face Edward, from the corner of my eye, I saw Alice and Jasper glide off hand in hand toward the arriving Emmet and Rose.

I directed my attention to Edward, staring admirably into his beautifully liquid topaz eyes, bordered by the thick rims of lashes that flicked up to caress the lower part of his brow bump.

He was truly amazing.

"Mr Dazzling, ey?" he said lightly chuckling.

"That must make you Mrs Sexy Boots?" He continued with a sly smile.

"Hah, I wouldn't go that far."

"Oh, But indeed I wouldn't hesitate to." Said Edward seductively.

I felt the light dusting of my blush spread evenly across each of my cheeks and over my nose.

Just then the bell rang, snapping us out of our intense gazes into each other's eyes; our faces only centre metres apart.

I let go of my hold from around him and went to turn and grab his hand when his fingers reached out to my jaw and slightly raised it, before he gently pressed his cool, soft lips to mine for an intimate kiss that got my heart racing, my palms sweating and my head spinning.

After our little kiss, he stepped back a tad and smiled that crooked grin he knows I adore.

"Let's get to class my love." He said, with smile in his voice as he led me to our first lesson of the day, Spanish.

**Thankyou everyone for begining on my book, i promess it will get interesting throughout it!Many disaters many happy times :D//.**

**This is going to be my one and only disclamer so here goes.**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, ECLIPSE OR BREAKING DAWN.**

**They were created by Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Although, i do wish i did own Rob Patz anddd Taylor Lautner!! *Drools***

**Thanks everyonee enjoy and PLEASEE review! xo**


	2. Bye mum, Bye dad

**Chapter Two**

**Bye mum, Bye dad.**

I woke up Saturday morning to an empty house. The silence was eerie. This was the morning that I woke up feeling for some strange reason, something bad was going to happen today, I felt as if something dear to me had been lost, misplaced and I couldn't help feeling a little worried. What was happening?

I walked down into the kitchen to find a note in my mother's delicate handwriting magnated to the fridge it read:

Our Dear Bella,

Your father and I have gone down to the lake for a bit of time out with each other.

Go have some fun of your own and we'll see you later.

Have a good day honey!!

Love Mum and Dad xo

"There so cute", I said out loud to myself as I pulled open the cream white cupboard and dragged out a box of cheerio's and a bowl.

I walked back upstairs and ate my bowl of cereal on my bed as a I read this book call withering heights; it really had me sucked in.

After finishing my food, I lazily got up and strode into the bathroom and took a quick shower.

I might go see Edward, I thought and Alice will be there, I'll get her to check for me that today will be as any other, then I can clear away this off sense I have lingering in the midst of my thoughts.

I walked out of the bathroom in nothing but my towel, and jumped with so much fright that I swear my head was inches from the ceiling, as someone grabbed my arm quickly from out of nowhere, I was about to let out a shocked screech when I smelt it, that honey lilac scent that I was so attuned to.

He whispered like music in my ear "Gotcha Love!"

Then planted a row of kisses from my jaw down to my collarbone, before slowly gliding his lips ever so lightly across my skin until he reached his destination. BINGO.

All I could say was "Mmm". As I rolled my eyes closed.

I got Goosebumps in a trail of where he had kissed from my jaw to my collarbones and my heart skipped a beat then melted when his lips met mine and our tongues moved in synchronized rhythm with each other. Our bodies intertwined as if they were the last two pieces of the puzzle that perfectly finished the picture.

Edward is always thoroughly against me and him taking our physical relationship to the next level, he says it's too dangerous and that he could never risk endangering my life over something as common as sex, but I will continue to push the subject, I want to love him in every way possible.

This is why I was surprised when Edward hitched my legs over his hips and ran at vampire speed to my bed, placing me underneath his body, as he hovered over me light as a feather, than ducked down to continue planting soft romantic kisses on my lips and proceeded to softly suck the side of my neck.

I felt a set smile on his lips as he continued kissing me.

Whilst my lips were bare is asked quietly,

"Did you change your mind baby?"

Then he slowed to a stop.

What did I say?

I opened my eyes and found his staring into mine, "No I haven't changed my mind on what you're thinking of, I will not risk your life Bella, not until its 100% safe, but I know I can love you with boundaries, I have my strengths to a certain point."He Explained.

"Well, I guess I can't argue, I mean you are laying on me, my legs are around your hips and I'm only covered by a flimsy towel. That's about as good as it gets for now!" I said smugly.

He let out a soft chuckle and lent down towards my face before the house phone started ringing.

"Ignore it!" I ordered and pulled his face down to mine.

I felt him go stiff as the phone stopped ringing.

"Bella, your mobile will ring in just a couple seconds, and I think you should answer it."He said in a suddenly strained voice.

Surely enough in a matter of 5 seconds the song Memories by David Guetta started filling the room.

A look of pain flashed over his face and suddenly my earlier feelings of worry came flooding back to me, before I reached out and grabbed my buzzing mobile. The number wasn't private but I didn't recognise it by memory.

"Hello." I said warily.

Edward tightened his hand into mine and wrapped his other arm around my waist.

"Hello is this Miss Swan."

"I'm Bella Swan, yes."

"This is Senior Deputy Mark Lawrence from the F.D.P

(Forks Police Department)

"I have been informed to call you in relation to your parents Charles and Renee Swan."

"What the hell has happened?" I almost shrieked.

Edward tightened his grip

"Bella, I think it be best if you make your way down to the forks Emergency room, Bella your parents were involved in a mighty car accident. They're not doing all that well, Bella, I'm afraid chances of survival are largely slim."

Edwards's phone started buzzing and he stepped up to answer it.

"There's got to be a mistake, this can't be right. No it can't be, this is wrong, you've got it all wrong" I demanded. Was this some sort of sick joke. I wasn't laughing.

"I'm sorry Bella; please just make your way to the hospital. They'll help you understand better than I can at the moment." Said mark in a sympathetic voice.

It hit me then that he was serious, he wasn't some random caller trying to defuse my life, he had just delivered me the news I felt I may be receiving today.

With that realisation the phone slid out of my limp hands and landed with a soft thud on the dooner, as then my very first tear of sorrow built up and spilt over my eye lid and fell with heaviness towards my cheek.

Soon after, I herd Edward say," thanks Carlisle." followed by "yes, I know you did, she'll appreciate your effort, the fact that you tried with all you can, Yes well be there soon, bye." And his phone clicked shut.

I felt this weird shudder then a strange sound. Shortly after I realised it was me, and I was now standing up shaking to the point where my jaw was jittering together, and as well as the unstoppable streams of tears that spilled over, the sobs raked out of my chest and came out in clumps of recognisable gasps of pain.

I felt sudden cool hands run over my face and pull me into a tight embrace. This made me feel a little more securitised in my current state of shock none the less.

After a couple minutes of being held and comforted by Edward, the word Hospital popped into mind, and although my sharp cries convulsed through my numb body and the pinching pain of loss was horrendously overwhelming, I lent back out of Edwards embrace emotionless and said nothing other than hospital, before I headed towards my room door.

I felt myself tilt forward slightly before I realised my face was only centre meters from the carpet of my floor. After that everything when pure black.

I woke up in Edwards arms; we were in what looked to be a hospital waiting room.

I felt really dizzy, and I had a throbbing headache from crying.

I looked up at Edward and he stared into my eyes before saying "I'm sorry my Bella, I truly am, the crash was just too much for them. They... they".

He didn't need to say it, I knew what was coming and then once again, a shattering sob broke free from me and I planted my face into the hollow of Edwards neck and cried my heart out, whist he soothed me, rubbing circles on my back and telling me that he loves me and that he'd always be right here for me. I needed him so much right now.

"Why?" I mumbled

"How could this happen to me, to them?"

"Shhh Bella, I know, it's going to be ok, Shhh."

I can't believe this happened. They were my Parents. The one's who brought me into this world. They did the things that you love in a parent. The cheesy jokes, the awkward sex talk, the going off at you for no reason. The worst thing is that sometimes you can have it so good that you take it all for granted, you let the time slip by too quickly and then there gone, there not coming back and there's noting you can do to bring them back._ Nothing_

That very word._Nothing_.Brought on with it a new round of hysteria.

Just then I felt a small soft hand on my shoulder. It was Alice. I continued to sob, but with my free hand I intertwined my fingers in Alice's. I wasn't letting anyone go. Never again.

All the Cullen's were there in my time of need. They were each at some point my rock throughout that night.

Emmett felt like the older brother I never had, there to protect me from anything that tried to come my way.

Jasper held me In his arms and sent out soothing emotions to try calm me down a little more, comforting me.

Alice, my best friend, my sister held me and cried tearless cries with me, she knew my parents rather well, they were her human version of parents and so she grieved along with me.

Esme and Carlisle held me and rocked me back and forth while singing to me softly, making me feel as whole in their family, even Rosalie held my hand and hugged me, this was a big step for her and it in itself comforted me.

Then there was Edward. My saviour, my love and my life. Without him I'd have wasted away and no longer existed myself.

When we were back at the Cullen's household, though I was likely not to sleep, my eyes were hanging from my head. Me and Edward lay bundled together in his bed. He himself making me feel safe from the current reality of my life.


	3. The mourn is over

**Chapter Three**

**The Aftermath.**

**EPOV**

"Carlisle!" I said hopping up from the bed to answer my phone, though I felt as though I shouldn't have unwrapped my arms from Bella, I wanted to take in all that Carlisle mentioned.

"Carlisle, this can't be true, he can't be gone."

"I'm sorry son, the car they were in hit a big semi off ocean grove and Montaigne Avenue, they passed away shortly after arriving here. There was literally nothing that could be done, the damage had occurred so largely in such a minimal amount of time."

My face fell, Bella was going to be in excruciating pain over her loss, and her being sad makes me unhappy for her. But I will be there for anything that she needs me to be there for, and if she wants me gone I won't hesitate to go. Her wishes are my command. I love her so completely.

She has me under spell.

"I see, well this isn't good in the least."I mumbled,

"I'm sorry, but I truly was prepared to do anything to give them best chance of survival, it was just too late. Please tell Bella I'm so sorry" I heard the muffled sorrow in Carlisles voice.

"Don't be sorry!"I whispered

"Thank you; she'll appreciate your effort."

"Edward, may I ask that you bring Bella down here to sort some things out and to help her understand what's happened."

"Yes, Of course, well be there soon." I mumbled emotionless as I snapped my phone shut and raised my head slowly to take in full view of Bella's current form.

She was sat up on the bed, her palms pressed out in front of her, her legs bend beside her, and tears rolling down her beautiful face in torrents, just then I saw her torso shudder as the raking sobs began to break free of her body.

"Oh Bella" I whispered as I briskly walked to her and wrapped my arms around her, cradling her and letting her feel comfort in my protective hold. I'll never let go.

She was a complete and utter mess. This truly broke my heart.

We eventually arrived at the hospital, where all my family at some stage held Bella as she grieved, and also felt pain and loss along with her, though honestly and obviously not as strongly.

After being at the hospital for quite a long while, and after getting everything sorted out, we drove back to my family's house, where we were practically chaperoning Bella. This was as much her home as ours.

I looked into Bella's raw, bloodshot eyes as I carried her into my room and placed her onto my bed. My beautiful girl had been through the worst possible day of all existences.

She needed rest, though under current circumstances, I doubt she'll gain much if any.

"Thank you." Bella said in a weekly trembling voice.

"Thank you for being here for me, you and your family. I don't think you grasp how much by just being here, use all save me from practically wasting away with the wind."

A new fresh tear slid down her unusually flustered face, before my thumb slid up her cheek bone to stop it in its tracks.

"Bella, you are my life, you are my world. Everything in my existence was dull, boring, before you showed up and saved me from the deepening shadow follower I was already becoming. Now it's my turn to help you, to be there for you, and I promise, I will be here for you. That is until you order me away, my love."

"Never." She replied, before positioning herself into me like she were using me as a protective shield, and in shorter time than I expected she began to breathe slow, deep heavy breaths.

Even in her sleep I could tell she was hurt. She quietly moaned and writhered by my side, as if she were re-living the whole of today's events step by step. I just held onto her tighter, cocooning her in my arms.

Being there to protect her from the demons that try to sabotage her best memories.

**BPOV**

I woke up, my head thumping and my eyes stinging like they'd been scrubbed with sandpaper.

Then it all came flooding back to me. My mum, my dad, they were gone. This made my heart falter and my stomach tie its self in knots. My throat tightened as if it had an un removable lump inside of it.

"Bella?" a beautiful voice softly worded.

"Are you awake my love?"

I could then feel his ironman arms wrapped around my back and noted the beautiful way we were closely conjoined, content admires of each other. He held me as if I were his life, his soul and I loved every second of it.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I said, my voice unusually hoarse.

I lifted my head to meet his gaze. Our eyes met each other's and we stared into each other's minds, wondering what we could each be possibly thinking at this very moment.

"I'm sorry."Edward announced.

" I know, me too." I said completely shattered.

Knowing that my parents had died was hard enough to take in, let alone having to see them lowered into the ground, in complete lifelessness, compared to how they were so energetic and free not four days ago, deepened into the earth's naturalness inside of a overlarge wooden box.

I just truly hope they're happy and at peace right now, That they're fine and living on in some other place beyond the sky's limit.

Just then there was a shrill and quick three knocks at Edwards door.

Then the knob twisted and it crept open an inch.

"Bellaaa." Alice softly whispered

"Bella, are you up." She continued.

"Pup's here to see you."

Edward took a long intake of breath before rising us both up.

"Oh, well use are awake, she said morphing straight into her average conversation voice, though there was emotion I just couldn't put my finger on lingering shallowly beneath Alice's usually happily trilling voice.

"Jacob?, I'll be down in a sec" I said whipping the sleep away from my tender eyes.

"Jake, what are you doing here?"

Hi bell's, I came to be a friend for you, how are you doing?"

"Umm, I don't really know" I said confused.

"Billy sends his condolences, he's real sad Bella, I don't know what to do, I get so squirmy when another bloke cries in front of me" he muttered in disarray.

"Then I'd be bad company for you to keep at the moment" I said briskly.

" Jake, could I ask you a favour? I slugged at him.

" Could you please give me like a little time, I mean I'm a mess honestly right now, and I don't want you seeing me like this, I want you to be around for my happy times."

Jacobs face fell, then he looked a tad mad.

"Bloodsucker over there get's to be around you, to support you, why can't I?"He snapped.

Edward let out a low grumble that arose from his lower chest.

"That's different Jake and you know it, Edward is in a relationship with me, he'll always be around for my bad times as well as my good. But you don't see me all that often, I guess I just want them times to be happy."

His rigid posture suddenly limped and he reminded me of the young lanky Jake he was before he so hugely filled out.

" I guess you're right, I'm sorry bell's, I just want you to feel better again, to be happy, and just know that I'm always there for you, you can call or whatever it is people do these days" he said with a small gesturing smile spread on his face that i couldn't help returning.

"I know Jake, that means more to me then you'll ever understand." I said.

He stepped forward and pulled me into a long soothing embrace before he backed away and threw a quick glance at all the Cullen's, who has slowly made way back to what they were doing beforehand, leaving me and Jacob to our little conversation.

"Well guess I'll see you soon Jake" I smiled at him.

"Sure, sure" he smiled back.

Before heading to the door, and with one last backward glance, he let himself out and closed the door softly behind him.

Well that was short.

We held the funeral for my parents.

Nearly half the town was there, which shows my parents were truly loved. They were amazing.

I'm hoping now with the hardest stuff out of the way, I can slowly re-rail my life back on track.

Having my Edward by my side gives me a glimmer of hope, reason to believe that everything will be alright.

Funeral song

By my side – Inxs.


	4. Bella, Stay with me

**Chapter Four**

**Please don't leave me.**

**BPOV**

It had been 2 years since the tragic death of both my parents. Making me an orphan, I suppose.

I live in the same apartment as a girl called Jess. She's real annoying. But nothing I can't handle.

My close friends the Cullen's are now my life. I've become so attuned to having them around. They were my only reason for living at the moment.

It was a Saturday morning. Fresh with lawn icing and misty fog outside, when a soft knock was trilled at the door of the Cullen's house, which I'd spent the night at.

Everyone except Edward and Alice were out. Don't ask me where.

I walked still sleepy to the door only to pull it back and see a beauty before me. She had strawberry blonde hair and pale skin, just like my family the Cullen's, as well as golden eyes.

Was she some family member stopping in?

"Hello, can I help you?"I said, sleep still in my voice.

"Umm."She looked at me confused but continued.

"I need to speak with Edward." She practically demanded.

Just then Alice came fluttering in "Who is it bel..." Her words trailed off and her eyes became wide as she saw the figure before me.

"Tanya." She said sharply.

"Hahah, well Alice, That's no way to talk to your brother's girlfriend, now is it."

My jaw hit the floor.

.Hell.

Just then Edward came charging down the stairs in vampire speed, the light shining through the door ricocheting off his glittering skin.

"Tanya, what the heck in the lord's name are you doing here. You don't understand what no is I take it. You will not be my girlfriend; the only girl I could care for in that manor is right next to me"

He placed his arm around my waste and I smiled.

"I'm sorry that it's not what you would like from me, but I don't want you, please understand."

"She's just a human."Tanya scowled, glaring at me.

"I bet you can't even kiss her."

"That's it Tanya" Alice interrupted.

"Let's get this straight. Your little obsession with my brother, it is to stop or I, myself will personally rip your head from your shoulders and be the reason for you to seise to exist. Do I make myself clear? Don't for one second think this is a bluff. You are really pissing me off woman."

Alice glared evilly at Tanya.

Tanya smirked before turning to stare at me and say "What if your little toy were no longer sold, then you'd be forced to by the next best thing".

"Ergh, you really think Bella will be out of our site long enough for you to get your greasy little paws on, think again. We'll protect her with everything we've got."Alice stated finally, seeming a bit proud of herself."

"And by the way, indeed we can kiss, and it the best thing ever."

Edward remarked, slowly pulling my lips to his.

A growl rumbled from within Tanya's chest.

"Just you wait you little weak human; you'll get what's coming to you."

She threatened before she turned and run away through the shrubbery at vampire speed.

"Umm, ok, no need for a coffee hit now, think I'm awake" I said in a mocking tone.

"I'm sorry."Edward began,

"Before I even knew you, my family and I attended a high school in Alaska. There we met another coven of vampires, calling themselves the Denali coven. Tanya, of course, was a member of the group. Ever since we met, she's been following me places and saying I'm hers, it's almost like in her sick twisted head I'm her Romeo. To be honest I'm scared of what she could potentially do to this family. She's very manipulative and though we've never admitted this to Tanya, but for some reason, she's able to hide certain things from us in her mind, though I believe she doesn't know she is able to, cause there are some things she's though that I know she wouldn't want others to know. " He said knowingly.

"It'll be fine" I said and we left it at that.

And with that, I raised my finger to stop his lips; they were so sexy, that thoroughly ending the conversation.

And we never would of had to think of Tanya again until Five weeks later something happened that ruined me for the second time.

.........Five weeks later........

**EPOV**

"Alice." I called.

I could smell something odd, like a vampire scent, only covered up by a distorting other scent that made it unrecognisable. Garlic maybe.

"What is it?" She said skipping down the stairs to stop in front of me.

Before I even had to say anything Alice said "What is that god awful smell".

"Has Emmett been wearing that stupid Halloween vampire costume and the garlic accessories again, that's sooo not funny, just because he thinks it's cool to cover his scent and all..." She trailed off into visions that I also saw through her thoughts and we both gasped.

"No. She didn't."

We both let our jaws hit the ground.

Her plan was evilly, obsessively wrong and warped in many ways.

And it worked.

How the heck could we let this happen?

I searched the perimeter of our towns mind span looking for Tanya's thoughts and there they were. I found out all that she had planned and all that she would do. Just because she was obsessing over me.

**TPOV**

It was strange, sneaky of me to have snuck into the Cullen's house, but I knew this would distract their thoughts. The smell was putrid enough that it would cover my tracks; they'd never know it was me.

Once I left the house I made my way to Edwards disgusting, boy steeling, human's apartment. In my pocket I held a syringe of Methamphetamine, a drug that if taken in high dosages could be lethal, and this dose wasn't small let me tell you. I picked this particular drug because although I'd loved to have just slipped little rat poison into something of hers, it'd kill her, and I just wanted to shock Edward, let him know what he's dealing with. That way his little human can live in heartache whilst I take the ultimate prize. Edward. He'll see her for how week she really is.

It was a piece of cake to simply walk through her apartment and even easier to plant the drug within an apple which I knew Bella would be sure to eat. Smart me has been watching her, seeing what she does, and apple is part of her daily diet. Her little friend doesn't touch them. Revenge is sweet.

I thought impressed with myself.

**BPOV**

I walked into my little apartment room I shared with jess, it was nothing compared to the Cullen's house, but it was all I could expect, or afford for that matter.

"Bella?"

"Yeah jess, it's just me."

"Oh, Bella, I missed you, I haven't seen you for ages."

"Jess it's only been six hours." I laughed

"Well, so what, it sucks when I haven't got someone to talk to, I go crazy" She said with certainty.

I laughed and she did too.

"Awh jess, I'll always be here for you."  
Even though she was extremely annoying at times I liked her.

She came over and gave me a hug, then walked over to the counter and grabbed her handbag.

"Oh, are you going out."I said with a tinge of disappointment filling my voice.

"Uh, yeah, sorry, Mike asked me out on a date, I am sooo excited, I mean like, Jesus about time, is he stupid, I've liked him for age's, maybe my love vibes are up to shit." She said, clearly over her D.N.M moment.

"Go, go and canoodle with your mike, before I go crazy for you."I said giggling - I seemed to do that allot.

"I'm going I'm going, Byee, ily B"

"Ily J." Then the door closed with a thud, leaving me in the startlingly silenced house, by myself.

I walked into my small room and picked up my iPod, placing it into the speaker dock and selected a song called I made it-Kevin Ruldolf & Lil Wayne.

It made me happy.

I bopped around the house whilst the words...

"I look up to the sky,  
And Know the World is mine,  
I've known it all my life,  
I made it, I made it!  
I used to dream about, the life I'm living now,  
I know that there's no doubt.  
I made it, I made it!"

Bounced off the walls, maybe a little too loud, but I don care, I was having a moment.

I'm hungry, I thought, I was starting to get that annoying little stomach ache.

The song had now switched to Drop the world by Lil Wayne, wow another good song.

"I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes,  
Hate in my heart, love in my mind,  
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same,  
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain,  
I search but never find, hurt but never cry,  
I work and forever try, but I'm cursed, so never mind,  
And it's worse, but better times seem further and beyond,  
The top gets higher the more that I climb."

I sang along as I walked into the kitchen in search of a snack.

I looked in the fridge, but nothing was appealing, actually I don't think I was edible either, Jesus jess.

Then I went over to the fruit basket and grabbed the apple that was there. This'll do.

I took a big bite, then skipped back into my room.

It was within the next half hour that energy hit me like a truck. I was bouncing off the walls, it was great. I took one more bite from my half eaten apple and flung it at the bin, I didn't seem to be hungry at the moment, in fact I didn't really have room for feeling any emotion in the state I was in. If I didn't know any better id have thought I'd taken something.

Then something went off, I stared sweating profusely, like I'd been running for three hours straight, and getting real dizzy, I felt like I was being spun and flung everywhere, then my toe caught and I fell over on my rooms rug and hit my head on my wall unit, but I laughed, why did I laugh, it hurt so bad.

I slowly rose onto my arms and legs, trying to crawl to something I could support myself on, but I couldn't do it, I fell back over and laid flat on the floor, then I took one last sharp breath and everything went black as I fell into a deep peaceful silence. Though I could still hear a soft frantic thump which I believe was my own heart, and I possibly could have noticed the sound of hurried voices right before I slipped into the dark, but I wasn't certain.

**EPOV**

"Bella!" I screamed franticly.

"This is not good Edward, I can't see her future." Alice said sounding as if she were about to cry.

"It's flashing, wait it's flashing." She then said sounding a tiny bit more less stressed out.

I could hear Omarion-Speedin' pumping from outside her apartment.

This hurt; I couldn't lose her, not now.

I merely kicked her front door with my foot and it went falling to the ground.

"Bella, Bella, where are you, Bella please."I yelled for her.

"Bella." I whispered as I found her. This broke me in two; there she was still on the ground, a single blood stain on the carpet next to her head, her face emotionless and paler than usual, though she was slippery with sweat.

"No, Bella, no please, you can't." I cried as I ran vampire speed to her still body.

Alice was frozen still behind with me, one hand clamped over her open mouth and her legs shaking.

"Alice, call Carlisle."I yelled over my shoulder.

Alice snapped out of her daze at my words and within a fifth of a second she'd dialled Carlisle's number and was holding the phone to her ear, biting her finger nails and pacing in circles.

I lowered my head to Bella's slowly rising chest, she was still breathing, and this was a start, though her pulse was practically one conjoined beat it was going so fast.

I thought it was only best to leave her still until Carlisle arrived.

"Carlisle, Carlisle, oh my god, please, it's Bella, you've got to get to her apartment now, she's bad, she's real bad, god you've got to help her, Tanya was here, she blocked us from her thoughts and spoiled an apple Bella ate with heavy doses of methamphetamines, she's not moving Carlisle god, she's so still." Alice paused from her flooding of words to listen to Carlisle.

"Yes, her heart is still beating, but very fast, too fast."Alice replied.

"Ok, see you soon."Alice said sharply and flipped her phone closed.

"Bella, it's ok, you're going to be fine, just hold on love."I barely whispered.

A wet tear filled my eyes and spilled over, dropping down and landing on the hand of Bella's I was holding onto.

"Wow, I thought vampires couldn't cry."I said in a clogged voice, sniffling from my nose.

"Me too."Alice said, I looked up at her to see her red raw eyes and tear streaked face,

"I guess Bella has altered us so completely that if we feel enough emotion we can cry real tears also." Alice replied, then added,

"Edward, Bella's going to be alright, I can see it."

I saw through Alice's thoughts Bella awaking, her beautiful chocolate kiss eyes fluttering open and I listened to her heart beat at a steady rate. Everything was going to be ok.

"Oh Bella." I said kissing her forehead, her cheek and her hand profusely.

"Alice come here."I said and when she was next to me I wrapped my free arm around her shoulder and let her lean her head against my arm.

"It's all going to be fine", I said mostly to myself, Then I stood up in one jerked movement just as Carlisle came bolting in through the wrecked door and to Bella's side.

He began to work on her straight away, implanting tubes into her nose, mouth and wrist, as well as checking her pupils and pulse.

I walked over to the corner of the small room and turned the un-needed music off, then flipped up my phone to call jazz.

"Are you all ok?"Jasper said firstly.

"For Bella, I think so. But there's one thing I want to ask of you, catch Tanya and kill her, destroy her before I get to her, because I will go to all lengths to make it torture for her. And I don't want to make myself out to be a monster."I said honestly.

"We can do that for you. Just be there for Bella for us in the meantime, when were done we'll be there." he said before hanging up.

"I walked back over to Carlisle, Alice and my Bella, who was now, hooked up to a heart monitor and had a small see through squared machine connected to the thick clear tube that was going down her throat.

Before I was to ask what it was, Carlisle said,

"Edward, push her stomach for me please."

"Like this?" I asked I was softly pumping Bella's stomach.

"A tad harder, and faster, no one is around you can go faster than usual."

I did as he said.

"Perfect."

He then went over to the machine attached to the tube and switched it on.

After a second stuff started syphoning through the tube. What the hell. Then I realised that it was taking out all that Bella had eaten recently to try and dispose of the chemical making her so sick.

My pumping was helping it get hold of it all the gastric fluids, so I continued. I was helping, that's all I could do.

Within the next 20 seconds Carlisle switched off the machine and got me to slightly raise Bella's head to remove the tube before he replaced it with an oxygen mask.

We were all silent except for when carlisles ked us to help with anything.

Alice was so silent I almost forget she was there.

I looked behind my shoulder to see her huddled in the corner her head on her kneecaps rocking back and forth.

I looked back in front of me only to see Carlisle nod towards Alice.

"She'll be fine now, I'm just going to put her in bed, go be with Alice for a moment."

I nodded briskly and shot over to Alice's side and pulled her up into my arms.

For the first time in over 100 years both me and Alice cried in each other's hold, cries of both horror and relief, Alice for her best friend and sister and I for my reason of existence, my Bella.


	5. Recovery Unit

**Chapter Five.**

**Recovery Unit.**

**BPOV**

"Beep, beep, beep."

I heard the swift rhythmic beep of a machine seemingly close to my head.

"She'll open her eyes in 15 seconds." Said a familiar pixie like voice I've heard so many times before.

I heard a heaving sigh of relief rather close to my sound sensitive ear, then a much desired and sweetly soft, cool embrace surround my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"Bella, love, can you hear me? It's alright, everything's going to be fine, just open your eyes my darling."

_Edward, is that you?_

I had to open my eyes, to see the source of that Beautiful velvet voice I can't get enough of.

My eye lids felt as if they weighed a ton, as if they were glued together, but I had to pry them open somehow, I had to! 

It took some effort on my behalf, but it was worth it.

My eyes flickered open and I blinked at the sudden intake of light, as well as the seven beautiful faces staring at my own.

Seven faces, each holding a different expression.

Edward, my life, was the closest, seated next to my bed holding my now responding hand.

On his face he had a look of relief and happiness, as if he had won A million dollars.

Not that he cared for money all that much.

He smiled me his famous crooked grin and I melted instantly at the site.

_Jerk._

Alice was bouncing up and down excitedly by Edwards's side; obviously she would have seen me wake up.

An eye crinkling smile across her face.

Jasper stood behind her with an arm outstretched in order to grasp her small white hand in his.

He looked content, probably feeling as I did at this current moment being surrounded by the 'Pale faces'.

_Haha, inside joke._

Carlisle and Esme stood back by the room's door, slightly hugging each other, and looking at ease probably due the fact of me awaking, I guess.

Emmett stood back a little further, but still close enough, with an arm lazily draped over rose's feminine shoulders.

A mischievous, dimpled smile spread over his face as my eyes swept up to him.

"Hey lil sis, you're awake from the dead" Emmett said, breaking my current study of everyone.

He boomed with laughter, but quickly zipped it when he realized the death glare he was receiving from Rosalie.

I released the frozen composure of my face into a face of humour.

"Haha, real knee slapper Emmett!" I said smiling at him.

Then I slapped my blanket covered knee and shook my head in mock laughter.

Everyone loosened out and began to breathe again.

Edward cackled under his breath at my remark.

"Yeh, I thort it was too, glad someone got it." Emmett replied, a face filling smile breaking across his cheeks as he glared mockingly at everyone in the room.

Out of nowhere, Rosalie hit Emmett across the back of the head swiftly with an open hand.

Everyone burst out laughing except Emmett himself, who looked confused.

"You were getting big headed, thort I might help knock some extra space into your skull, you know, help clear the space." Rosalie retorted with a sheepish grin on her perfect face.

"Yeh, thanks rose, love you too."

Rosalie kissed him on the cheek as a sorry gesture just before everyone's attention flew back to me.

Carlisle stepped forward.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" He asked, Doctor Mode kicking in.

"Um." I stopped to actually study the condition of my body.

I took a quick, filling intake of breath.

"My stomach is pretty tender."

"My throat is real dry too, kinda sand papery."

I think that was all I could feel.

Everything was still there... I think... Yep it's all there.

I wiggled my toes and fingers, blinked my eyes, whipped my hand over my face and licked my teeth.

I hope no one noticed my quick self examination.

"Your all there Bella." Carlisle said, his soft voice breaking me out of my self-study.

I looked up at him and smiled like a child caught stealing chocolate from the cupboards.

He Chuckled.

"Your stomach may be sore for another 3-4 days, the level of drugs you were slipped was dangerously high, they had to be pretty much syphoned from your stomach, which explains also the dry throat, the tubes would have created the ware of your throat skin. That should also seise down to nothing in no longer than a week. You'll be fine Bella."

Carlisle came over and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder; Edward squeezed my hand comfortingly and smiled to me again, this time with adoration in the mix.

"But Bella, you do need your rest in order to follow up on a quick recovery."

Carlisle said looking around the room at my on watching family.

"Come on kids, let Bella rest." Esme said sincerely waving her small forever young hand at the white door.

"Bella, we'll be back later dear, rest now."

Esme came cover quickly to place a soft motherly kiss on my forehead before walking out the door.

"Bye bells" Everyone said together, each of them then coming up to either squeeze my arm in a gesturing way or to kiss my cheek.

All except for Edward and Carlisle who stayed in their current positions.

Edwards grip on my hand tightened ever so slightly.

I looked him in the eyes, returning the look of adoration he'd stared at me minutes ago.

He pulled my hand up to his mouth and glided his glassy lips over the top of my skin, before planting a soft, loving kiss right in the middle of my fist and then on each one of my fingers.

His eyes glazed over with a hood of emotion I'd never seen Edward have.

He looked scared, sad or hurt. Maybe all three?

A single tear fell over the brim of his eyelid and slid forcefully down his pale cheek.

Carlisle quietly made his way to the door letting himself out at this time, for he knew me and Edward were about to have a mushy moment.

I wiped Edward's tear away with my thumb.

"Edward, how are you crying?"

_Yep, there was definitely a tear there. _

"It's what you've done to me Bella, you've changed me for so much better than I was, you've altered me so completely, that now, I can feel emotion partially as a human can."

A tear of my own made its way down my face.

"Bella, I love you so much. I will never let you be in harm's way again, I will do anything it takes to have you safe, please know that! Please say you know it Bella, you are my world Bella, I can't live without my world, it's simply impossible."

Edward whispered.

"I know Edward, please don't be sad, I love you with my all, don't think for one second any of this is your fault, don't do it, because you know damn well it's not." I pulled his face up so I could stare into his eyes.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I love you, I love you so much, you're my forever."

I started sobbing, I'm not all that sure why, it just started to bubble up from me.

Edward pulled me into an embrace that felt, as if it in that moment, it had pieced me back together again, just what humpty dumpty's men couldn't do for him.

I was in bliss, I was safe again and I was in the arms of the man I love.

_My forever._


	6. Alice, I'm going to leave Bella

**Chapter six**

**I'm going to leave Bella.**

**EPOV**

**8 weeks later...**

"Alice, I have to go, I can't let our kind hurt her anymore, and I can't stand for her not to exist because of me bring us monsters into her life."

"Edward, it'll hurt her more if you go, you know it will, you can't do that to her, can't you see Edward." Alice whispered angrily at me.

I huffed.

"Alice, I've got to try, I love her, and so I must set her free, if she's still here when I come back, then she's rightfully mine to love."

"But why would you do that you dumbass?!, you're going to ruin something beautiful, when Victoria came back again, we'll hide Bella, everything will be fine."

"Alice, that's just the thing, if she were with a human, she wouldn't have to be hidden away! I don't want this constant running for her, it's not right." I said finally.

I've decided that I want to remove myself from Bella's life.

_For it to be as if I never existed._

For maybe a while, maybe forever.

I love her so much, just the thort of her not being next to me always crushes my still heart, but I want her to be happy even if this causes me to be unhappy.

"Ugh, Edward, this is silly." Alice Humphed.

"Alice, this is final, go pack your things, I don't want you here when I tell her, it'll just make it worse".

Alice stared at me as if she was truly disappointed in what I was doing and being, a tear fell down her face as she turned in a blur and rushed from the room.

"Esme, Carlisle." Alice blubbered from upstairs.

She basically re told them what we'd said and stated that it was my wishes to leave forks, and with forks, my Bella.

A tear of my own, unexpectedly, fell angrily down the side my face and just as fast as it slip down, I scrubbed it away forcefully with my hand.

I was not allowed to cry over this, it was for the good of Bella's life.

I was to be happy for her and her future, whatever it may lead to.

_But I love her so much._

**BPOV**

"Crap." I said groggily when I fell off my single bed onto the wooden floor of my small room.

My heads gonna hurt later.

I rubbed my right arm and the side of my head that hit the ground until it stopped stinging.

Ugh. I moaned as I pulled myself up with my bed, and rubbed my eyes out of habit.

I walked out into the apartments living room and plodded into the little homey like kitchen.

There was a note magnated to the fridge, it read;

Dear Bella,

It's jess, ofcorse, Haa XD.

Anyways, I've gone out with mike again for Breakfast / lunch.

Or not, well maybe I actually stayed at his house last night but Shhh ;)

I'll tell you L8r, yeahhh!!

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Which really, could be any time because you know what I'm like!

Love loads, Jessahh xo

"Friggen retard." I said to myself.

I got breakfast and sat at the table, myself as my own company.

I had this weird feeling dawn over me at the time, as if I felt really alone.

Maybe I'm still tired?

Just then I herd Memories begin upstairs.

SHIT!

I bolted up the long staircase, tripping many times, as I would, before I launched into my room and slid for my phone, which was on my bedside table.

"Hello." I said breathlessly.

"Bella, could you please meet me at my house, it's urgent." It was Edward.

He sounded shrill and straight to the point.

"Sure, is everything ok Edward?"

"I don't know anymore."

I sensed by the way he spoke that everything was fine people wise, that this was more of an us problem. This worried me.

_What have I done?_

"I'll be there soon Edward; we can sort whatever it is out."

"I love you Edward."

"Love you." Edward said in a harsh way as if he almost didn't mean it.

The phone went dead at the other end and i hung up my side, something wasn't right. I knew it.


	7. Broken life

**Chapter Seven**

**Broken Hearted Girl.**

**BPOV**

I arrived out front of The Cullen's big mansion like house.

I was worrying a bit, well actually a lot, because Edward sounded really edgy on the phone.

My little hand was trembling with suspense and concern, and I was worried by the possibility of facing an angry or hurt Edward.

Please no more bad news.

I walked up the small row of steps, slowly, savouring my time, to the big white Cullen house door and raised my hand to knock, when it swung open before me.

"Well, hello Edward." I said smiling.

I should have guessed he would have herd me.

"Bella." Edward said sternly.

My smile turned upside down.

"Edward, please tell me what's going on."

"Come take a walk with me." He jerked his head to the dirt track that led into the foresty area around his house.

_Orh shit, this is not good! _

We walked in complete silence to a little area just entering the bushy areas when Edward finally spoke.

"Bella, I have to tell you something. Something that you may not take too well."

"Edward, just pit it out." I said probably too roughly.

"Bella, were leaving forks. My family and myself."

_What. The. HELL?_

"Wait what. You're _leaving?"_

I emphasised the word leaving.

"Why would this be a problem, I will come." I trailed off as realisation hit me.

He stood there not actually looking me in the eye.

"You said you and your family. Where does that leave me?"

"I'm sorry Bella, we must go. And we, no I, do not wish you to follow along."

He said this softly, which is why it hurt all the more.

I broke in two.

"Please, Edward, Please don't leave me, your all I have left in this world."

I begged. I felt my knees wobble from under me.

"Bella, there is more to this world than a bunch of vampires."

He said this abruptly. Like Duh!

"Please, Edward, I want to come! I'm coming with you." I demanded.

"I. Don't. Want. You. To. Come!"

"You don't want me?"

_I feel sick._

"No."

He said this with such stability.

I always knew he was too good for me, that I was too plain to fit in his world.

"I knew it; I knew I was to plain for a world like yours, to be with you, I'm sorry, ill change anything please don't leave me."

This was my last attempt.

A tear of pure heartbreak rolled ever so slowly from my eye.

"Bella, it's not you, it's me, and I'm just sorry I let this go on for as long as I did. Bella you don't belong in this world."

He pointed at himself.

His hands fell to his sides, clenched into fists so tight you could see the white of his knuckles protrude from underneath his pale white skin.

"Yeah, right. You keep telling yourself that."

I was so hurt right now.

_How could he do this to me?_

"I'm sorry Bella, but if it's not too much to ask, please be careful, please look after yourself."

I felt the blood drain from my face, my vision was blurred and my head was spinning.

Tears were pouring in a torrent.

"Um. Kay." I whispered not trusting my voice.

He looked like he had a tear in his eye, but as I spotted this he turned his head to the side fastly and whipped it back around, there wasn't a tear there now.

He strode two big steps toward me, placed a cool hand on each side of my face and gave me a soft and sweet kiss on the forehead.

"Bella please remember your part o the bargain and ill make one for myself, I promise it'll be as if I never existed, and you can live your life happily as a normal human."

My whole body shuttered.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Edwards face fell into a pained expression before he quickly re composed it into a emotionless mask.

"It's for the best Bella."

"Be safe." He added before turning and running into the other direction so fast I could barely see.

"EDWARD!!" I shrieked out in pain.

It was in this particular moment I felt as if I were living in a dead person's body, as if I were never to feel whole again.

My one true love just removed himself from my life in an instantaneous second.

But I was a mere useless human being. No biggie, just an obstacle.

I ran in the direction he disappeared into, even though in my head I knew this was useless, my heart demanded I run!

I ran deeper and deeper into the shrubbery yelling and shouting his name to no reply.

My legs buckled under me countless times yet I pushed myself back up and kept on running.

I need him! _I need him!_

There was a jaggered stick pointing up from the forest floor that my foot caught on and I went flying into the leaves and dirt that made up the track. This time instead of pushing myself up, I lay on the ground realising my defeat.

My hands were dirt grazed and stinging and my leg had a cut up it from the sharp stick it ran against as I fell.

I started sobbing and yelping in hurt and pain, my cries were loud and sad.

I pulled my knees into my chest and curled up into a ball, Laing alone on the ground somewhere in the forest.

Sometime later I woke up, my eyes stinging as well as my leg.

I was freezing.

The sun was low which meant it was either morning or night.

The sounds of birds chirping ran throughout the forest, and the sky got brighter rather than duller, which lead me to believe it was morning, shit I'd been out here all night.

I remembered the reason why I was out here in the first place and I felt the sting of loss deep down in my chest.

_How could he?_

This was the question that I lingered on, what had made him dislike me so much, that he'd leave me by myself and move to god knows where with his family.

I was already missing, his voice, his touch, his smell, his eyes...

Shit, I wasn't going to last long like this.

New tears spilt over as I reminisced.

I pushed myself up from the dewy ground and headed behind me, because that was the direction I came from. _I think._

I walked and cried, stumbled and sniffled.

I felt like I was being watched. It was really annoying.

And i hope i wasn't being watched, because I would have been an eye sore in the screwed and shattered state I was in.

_I miss him._

Yet another tear rolled down my already tear streaked face.

One of many more to come I'm sure.


	8. Night Scare

**Chapter Eight.**

**Night scare.**

It has been three days 2 hours and 48 minutes since my life left me.

I feel numb to the core, I can't seem to live out one day without crying just once over my gone love.

My chest gets this overwhelming racking ache right in its centre whenever his face pops into my mind, whenever his _name_ pops into my thoughts.

I can't take this, I feel so alone and abandoned. I miss Charlie, I miss mum and though it hurts to admit it, I miss_ him_.

I've found out that if I call him him, It doesn't hurt as bad compared to saying his actual name.

"Bella." I heard jess's voice whisper as the bedroom door cracked open slowly.

"Jess." I said, my voice croaky because of my lack of verbal conversation the last few days.

"It's ok, come in."

"Oh, Bella, are you ok, I know it's hard, but I'll help you get it together again, I mean, wtf, stupid assholes." She continued bitterly to curse the family I used to class as my own.

She sat on the edge of my bed and grabbed my lazy hand in her own.

"Bella, it'll be fine."

Hah fine, yeah right jess.

"I don't think it will be jess, not for a while." -

"I just need some time to heal, you know. Sort my head out" I said tears filling my raspy voice.

"Is there anything I can do Bella?" Jess almost begged.

I shook my head.

"nah, I just got to figure this one out on my own jess, but thank you for being here for me, it may not seem it at the moment, but just having you here helps."

"You can't leave me jess, you can't too." I said an angry tear slipping over.

"I won't Bella, I promise."

Yeah, that's what _he_ said.

"Thanks." I whispered.

It went silent.

"Well, guess I'll go back out there. Oh and mike and I are going out a little later on, I'll come back home though if you want " jess said awkwardly, mumbling the last part.

"Nonsense, you go out and have fun, say hi to mike for me." I plastered a fake smile over my face, but I knew it still had hurt seeping through it.

"Um, mkay, well call me if you need me, please don't hesitate for me, your my best friend B."

She stood up and pulled me into a friendly hug before saying.

"Ily B."

"Ily J."I replied.

The moment she stepped out of my room I whipped all happiness from my face and returned it back to the depressed frown it had been not 5 minutes ago.

I pulled my iPod back into view and plugged the earphones in, putting on a random sad song in my music list, it turned out being James blunt- Beautiful.

I cried as I sang softly to the words;

"_Your Beautiful, Your beautiful, Your beautiful its true,_

_I saw your face in a crowded place,_

_And I don't know what to do,_

_Cause I'll never be with you."_

_Ouch._

This song really hit home as far as _he_ was concerned.

That song was followed by Wiseman, Than Goodbye my lover.

This one hit me worst, it described my feeling perfectly.

"_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.  
You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
my heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you"._

"Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me".

"_I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
you can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
and I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you"._

I couldn't take it anymore I broke.

Thank god Jess was gone.

I ripped the iPod speakers from my ear and flung the iPod at my wall with all the force I could put in the swing.

It forcefully bounded against the wall and thudded to the ground.

I stood up and pushed the alarm clock and lamp from the bedside table and they went smashing to the ground.

I went up to the closest wall and punched it again and again with all the force I could conjure, I was so angry, so hurt and it came flooding out of me like a stream that I just couldn't stop.

I finally slowed to a stop when I ran out of breath, and turned around before sliding to the ground and crying in my knees, the pain in my fists at the moment was an excruciating burn, which was good, any other pain I could deal with better than the one I was feeling emotionally at the moment.

I pushed myself up off the ground a little while later, once id calmed down, and looked around my room, taking in the damage I'd done.

The antique lamp was shattered all over my wooden floor in shards, and the wall I was punching has little cracks and holes over it with blotches of smudged, dried up blood in some areas. I looked at my knuckles.

Holey shit.

There was under skin blood already rising to the tops of my skinless, sensitive little knuckles. I walked into the bathroom and winced as I ran cold water over each hand before wrapping them in hospital bandage.

I swept up the mess I'd made. I found my iPod in the corner of the room, It was smashed up and didn't work at all, I sighed heavily and put it in the trash can then headed to cleaned the wall I'd attacked, after a while of sweeping and scrubbing I went back to my room and laid down in bed, exhausted, and drifted into a unhappy oblivious.

* * *

"Crack."

I jumped at the sudden sound that so loudly woke me up.

Jesus Christ!

"What the hell jess?" I began to yell grumpily when I flipped around and saw it.

There were two large red eyes peering right down at my face.

I saw the menacing way they penetrated into my stare.

I did a blood curdling shriek and started hyperventilating.

My heart was going so fast it could be considered one whole beat.

"w-who are you, W-what do you want?" I whispered.

The voice behind the red eyes let out a smoothe menacing cackle.

_I remembered him telling me something bad about red eyes, and that I was to tell him if I ever saw someone with them. _

"Wouldn't you like to know, girl."** She** replied in a smoothe voice, so smoothe that it scared the absolute shit out of me.

My mouth hung open in shock and I screwed my eyes closed tightly keeping them closed for about a minute.

_What the hell does that mean?_

'I'm dead, she's gonna kill me!'

Was all I could think.

I hesitantly opened my eyes back up only to see a blur of what seemed to be red hair and pale white skin slip out my windowsill.

I sat there not moving a muscle for minutes on end whilst I tried to take in what the heck just happened.

IT WAS JUST A DREAM, HOLEY CRAP NO IT WASNT!

Peh, they weren't eyes I saw, they were merely two red floating balls right in front of my face, yes that'll work.

I sprang up and ran downstairs, jess wasn't home.

Thank god!

So what, I'm being stalked by a vampire. I thought to myself.

Well fuck, he picked one hell of a time to up and go out of my life.

I was wide awake and shaking in my boots.

I couldn't sleep now, so once checking all the doors in the house were dead bolted and all the windows were locked closed, I went into the lounge room with my small laptop and dropped lazily onto the couch.

I turned the TV on for some background sound, then switched on the Laptop and waited for everything to load.

I went into my email inbox and searched up a familiar name, a name I'd emailed time and time again before this whole mess, someone I missed dearly.

[ Create new mail ]

_Ok here goes._

I allowed myself to let out a wary sigh at I typed slowly onto the page.

_Dear Alice..._


	9. Dear Alice

**Chapter Nine**

**Dear Alice**

_Dear Alice._

_I know it may sound lame, but I've been counting down every minute since he walked out of my life, because that was the day that I lost myself, my life and my family._

_All I've got to show for myself now is the fact that I am an eighteen year old girl who lives in an Apartment with another girl who is barely ever home because she has a boyfriend and a social life._

_You and your family, use were my world._

_I'm broken Alice, I'm so dead without you all here with me._

_I swear, I don't eat, I cry pretty much every second. _

_The scary thing I, I don't even recognise who I am anymore, so how would other recognise me? _

_I've quit school, there were just too many reminders of him, of you and your family._

_Your family were the only people who I felt the most genuinely comfortable around._

_All beautiful people, inside and out._

_**I'm so scared.**_

_To top of the fact that my life is completely miserable, I've got some crazy red eyed lady coming in my window at night and staring me down._

_I can't even be safe in my own home!_

_I just don't know what to do anymore._

_Esme and Carlisle._

_Basically a mother and father to me._

_How much I miss them no one could ever know._

_You and the others._

_Let's just say that I feel like I've lost Renee and Charlie all over again, only this time I'm doing the healing myself, and I'm doing a horrid job of it._

_Don't get me started on him!_

_I cry every night for him._

_Every single thing i do reminds me of him in some little way and it hurts, it hurt so bad Alice._

_Why won't it stop._

_I don't understand why I've been dealt so much pain and hurt in my life, what did I do wrong?_

_I miss you every day Alice._

_I miss every single one of you._

_Please come back. I'll do anything._

_You always were the one person i could tell all my thoughts to._

_I guess this just makes me feel a little more at ease, that I'm still in some way talking to you._

_Even if you do never reply._

_I miss you Alice, please come back, you are my best friend, I'm dead without you._

_Bella. _

i finished typing my last word and with that i pressed send.

Tears were rolling down my face as I realised how true my words were.

My hearts emotions went into that letter.

I just hope I see them again. One day.


	10. Fiery Change

**Chapter ten**

**Fiery Change**

It's been 2 weeks 8 hours and 28 minutes since he left me.

Nothing's changed.

I'm still a wreck.

I tried going back to school, just to see what it would be like, and I failed, big time, I ended up just leaving after 4th period.

Everything was a reminder to me, a reminder of who I thought I would be, and the family that would be mine to fit in with.

All gone.

I sent a letter to Alice a couple a week back, but just as I expected I got no reply, instead i got a message saying 'message sending failed'.

It didn't even send through god damn it.

I have a new friend, Jake, who stops by on occasions, but even he can't keep the memories away.

Then there was the red eyed woman in my room that night.

That lady haunts me every time I close my eyes.

The sound of her mocking little laugh, her big blood red eyes taunting mine, her deadly pail white skin.

It by far, was the most scary experience I've ever encountered.

The weird thing is, now that she came at me from random, I have this funny feeling something bad is heading in my directing and a hunch tells me she's involved.

I just have that terrible instinctual churning feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Well, guess I won't know till it happens, but I don't really feel too fond on waiting for fait to hit me.

* * *

"Hey Bella, you'll be right yeah, I'm going out on the town with some people, you sure you don't wanna come?" Jess babbled as she applied the rest of her thick sticky lip gloss.

"I'm sure Jess, I'll be fine, I'll call Ange, I haven't seen her in a while."I said mater of factly.

"Ooh, good idea bells, girl night innnn."She said all chirpy.

"Well, I gosta run bubs, love yah!"

Jess blew me a kiss and walked out the door as I replied yelling a happy toned "Byee!!"

I turned around in my spot and walked in the direction of the lounge room when i noticed the curtains open; Jess, always too caught up to do housie things.

If it weren't for me, she'd probably never lock the doors.

I laughed briefly to myself.

Even though it wasn't a big happy laugh, it was a start.

And it was probably the best laugh anyone would get out of me from now on.

I went and grabbed the line string and began to pull it, it dragged the curtains inward, and as i was about half way done i glanced out the window into the street and paused, dropping the string and taking a quick step back in reflex.

Goosebumps rose all over my body and my pulse thumped in my ears.

There was the red eyed lady, right in front of the window, giving me a evil glare like none id ever seen before, she bared her long white teeth at me, before bringing her hand up to her throat and sliding it across, flat palmed as if she were saying 'Your dead.'

_Holey crap, holey crap, HOLEY CRAP!!_

She then moved her hands up to the window and with that, she dragged her nails down the glass, making an eerie screech that I don't think I'll ever forget.

That image was plastered into my mind, like a clear photo of a best friend would be plastered into one's memory.

Completely detailed and menacingly real.

I was crapping my dax!

She gave me a wink, before she whisked around and blurred away in a swirl of red.

Her scratches left lines in the glass.

I was hyperventilating and my heart was pounding in my chest. I stumbled backwards in mere shock and fell over my lounge room rug, falling and bounding my head hard on the coffee tables edge .

My vision went hazed and I faintly herd soft footsteps.

I sniffed, I could smell that rusty scent that made me want to chuck up, I put my hand softly to the back of my head where it felt warm and throbbingly painful and put it back into eyes view.

Blood, too much blood, what do I do?!

Just then a blur of wispy red hair darted past my slowly responding eyes, and there it went again, like it was toying with me.

It was her, and this was the moment I feared, that odd feeling in my stomach, ending, returned again.

Out of nowhere she came into view about 2 metres in front of me.

"Bella, I'm afraid I know all about you, but you know nothing about me." She said in a stern voice. Her sound matched her well. Frightening to the core.

"I'm Victoria Denali, TANYA'S SISTER."

Oh god, it all fits into place now.

Vampire, Denali, red hair.

"Yeah, that's right girl, you know very much who I am now don't you." She said bitterly as she ran forward and slammed her foot down towards my too slowly reacting leg and stepped down hard against the bone, snapping it I'm pretty sure.

I screamed out in pain.

She was going to torture me.

To her I was the reason for her sister's death.

"Oh stop your whimpering you stupid cow! You know you deserved it!" She came at my face so her scary and emotionless face was inches from mine.

"Your precious Cullen's took away my sister, but now, NOW, to my utter amusement they've left you all by yourself, your nothing but a useless, weak piece of shit." She spat these words at me.

My body started to shake and tears rolled down my face in line order.

This was it, this hit right in my tender spot, the slightest of the recovery I'd done was no longer existent, and inside I was as dead as one can be without being a nut.

"KILL ME THEN, GO ON DO IT!" I screamed in her horrible face.

I just didn't care anymore.

I wanted to die.

"GO ON, GO DO IT!" I coaxed at her, every bit of anger and hurt I felt came out in my tone.

"Hah, you really think I'd kill you!" She sounded almost dumbfounded.

"That would be too nice of me, no, no, I'm going to make you suffer forever and ever. All alone, with no one to help you." She continued happy with herself.

"You will have no one to love you."

A tear rolled down my face particularly at that one.

"You will be abandoned and earth bound until there is no more world!"

She gave me a wicked smile before she grabbed me by the neck and flung me into the ground.

"This may hurt just a bit."

"Or a lot!?"

She laughed, she actually laughed. She was getting a kick out of deadening my life even further.

_Edward I love you_

He was all I could think about at this moment, I was hurt that he left me, but I was happy that he hadn't came back to save me from this, because then Victoria would've hurt him, and I couldn't cope with knowing I'd be living in a world where he doesn't exist.

I took a shaky intake of oxygen and shuddered as my body convulsed with tears and quiet sad blubbers.

She lowered her head towards my neck and with that she slowly sunk what felt like blades into my neck skin.

I screamed out in pain.

As much thrashing as i was doing her limitless body strength held me down effortless.

Now this was hell, this pain was excruciating.

She bit into my neck again and again each time a blast of fiery torrents streamed underneath my skin and down into my mid body.

She stopped and rose above me.

"Welcome to the Afterlife loser."

She spat at me in disgust and then turned and blurred away from eyes view.

Leaving me there to scorch internally.

I gritted my teeth together and writhered on the ground in the most pain I'd every experienced.

"OH GOD, OH GOD!!" I shrieked.

My body started to self arch and wriggle continuously.

Even though I was still sobbing, my tears stopped by themselves.

My tears were all gone, I couldn't cry anymore.

She's renewed me.

I'll be the most screwed up vampire there ever is.

I stopped screaming after a while and clamped my mouth shut because I knew no help would come of it, so there really was no use.

My sight got intensely stronger, i could see everything in perfection. Even the little dust motes that were invisible to my human vision.

I'd been burning for 14 hours.

The blaze had spread through my whole body at some stage and although all my senses had significantly sharpened, my heart was still beating, very very fast.

My throat was aching. Like I'd been for a 5km jog and not drank any liquids. It felt oddly dry.

It was actually painful.

As I thought about multiple subjects I noticed that the burn intensified around my heart.

I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth together.

I was cursing every name under the sun and screaming like a maniac in my head, though to someone other, I would have looked as if I were merely fidgeting in my sleep.

I got hotter, Hotter, Excruciatingly hot, then it surprised me and got even more Hotter if possible.

Just before I thought i was going to break and start fitting again it slowly but surely died down, the burning sensation now only a tingle of heat, this heat travelled down my torso, down my legs and exited out my toes.

With one last loud thump, my heart beat silenced to stillness.

Wow, this was so much more than a relief.

The physical pain was gone, now it was the emotional I had to carry.

I opened my eyes and sat up as I herd the front door open.

"Bella, I'm home."

As i recognised the familiar voice of my friend jess, i smelt a delicious fragrance.

Mouth watering.

My throat gave a hinting burn, yet nothing to what I'd felt just a few minutes ago.

"Bella, are you here."

I stood up in a flash and as hard as it was to ignore the smell I was taking in, I flashed out the carport door and into the track area behind the apartments.

I couldn't kill jess, I couldn't and I wouldn't.

All I had to begin my new life with was, my wallet, my cell phone and the clothes I had on.

I had nowhere to go and no one to talk to.

Nowhere to go until I decided on a whim go to the big mansion, the big mansion I once called a second home. The Cullen house.

It could be my hide away!

I also made another decision about my behaviour, I would be a vegetarian, and I would never allow myself to kill a human being.

This made me a little happier. Even though I wasn't with Edward, I felt closer to him now than I did Human.

I felt deprived of a natural life, and as much as i wished that me becoming a vampire would clear away all my emotional pain, it didn't, it was just as fresh, just as bad as it was before.

It stung terribly just thinking their names, but I knew going to this house was right, it was some place I could be and know that what I am is real, that I and the Cullen's,_ him_, do exist in this strange world.

I came to a standstill in front of the familiar white house.

A few human memories came flooding back, but they were hard to remember, like trying to read text through muddy water.

One that stood out was the reason why I was here last.

If I could cry tears, this thought would have brang them to my eyes.

Well, I was here now, the one place I would feel partially secure in.

_Home sweet home._


	11. The vision

**Chapter Eleven**

**I see her. **

**APOV**

I could see Bella, moving gracefully fast, wait fast, she's vampire? I scoffed in my own thorts.

SHIT!

Then a flood of visions crossed behind my eyes.

There over Bella's human form stood a red head vampire, she reminded me of someone familiar, I just couldn't put my finger on it.

The vampire stomped her foot down on Bella's leg and I winced out in pain and horror as I watched Bella's blood curdling shriek leave her lips.

Then my vision blotted out some scenes and re directed me to further on where the same red haired vampire was now holding Bella down.

No, she wasn't going to do it. No. NO!

SHE BIT HER!

Bella's a vampire.

Oh god no!

I have to get Edward, he has to know, he has to help her, and she's going to be so lost, oh gosh!

All these thoughts came roaring into mind just before I realised Jazz's beautiful topaz eyes staring, concern ridden, into my own surprised eyes.

"Alice, Alice, what did you see?" Jasper said slightly stroking his soft finger over my cheek.

If I could blush, I would have at his touch.

"It's Bella."

"She's one of us." I said simply, ending my train of words.

"Oh no, is she alright, well have to get someone to go back and help her".

Jazz always thought of Bella as a sister, even though he had that rough time with her at the birthday party and nearly eating her and all that, but he loved her like the sister he never had. A human sister.

"I need to help her jazz; she can't be alone through something like this."

Then I whispered.

"She's my best friend."

I dry sobbed into jazz's chest for the hurt and lost pain I felt for my best friend, the confused state and the loneliness she was going through at the moment.

It was his entire fault.

I don't care anymore; it's him who doesn't want to be around her. He thinks being away helps, if only he had to see her when she was human, the look in her eye that gave off the impression she was already dead, that she wasn't alive anymore.

Well Edward can go to hell.

"Jazz, I'm sick of this, I'm going to talk to the family, talk to Edward, and whether you come or not, I'm going to forks, I'm going to be there for bell, she needs someone."

"I see Alice, I agree, she'll need support, she's probably very lost at the moment, which is why I don't think I should come, I don't think I should be around to feel her emotions, I'm guessing under these circumstances there not too happy."

"Its kay baby." I swiftly stood on my tip toes to give my darling a quick soft peck on the lips before heading for the door.

"I'm going to tell them all what's happened, besides I see Edward coming back soon. Five minutes actually."

He can probably red my thorts now so I better block them.

_74+ =......._

"Mum, dad, rose, em! Family meeting now, quick I don't have much time to explain."

I have it all planned out, if I tell the family before Edward gets here I will leave and catch the next plane, but if he gets here, well I'm screwed.

I can't really tell whether ill beat him, because I'm using all my effort to block my thorts, it majorly dims my ability to see large visions. Just snap shots really.

Everyone came rushing into the room and seated themselves quietly at the table, obviously hearing the urgency in my voice.

"Ok guys, I had a vision just before, and I'm heading back to forks. Bella's been changed into a vampire. I just can't let her go through this alone."

I thought if I just say it like it was it'd be faster.

Esme covered her mouth in shock and remorse, Carlisle rubbed his head with his hand, he actually looked like he was about to cry.

Rosalie gasped out loud,

"Edward!, I'm going to kill him, great time he picks to leave, dick jabber, oh poor Bella".

Emmett just looked shocked; he never would have expected this as the breaking news.

His response was a simple "Holey Crap folks, we have a new vamp."

"As I said I'm going back to forks, she can't be alone anymore, it's been hell watching her so depressed, and she can't go through another big hurdle like this, shell turn into a nutcase."

I intended no humour in the nutcase statement, I was serious. Everyone knew thi because none of them laughed or even so much as smiled.

"Should we, would it be best if anyone else of us came?" Esme asked.

"Umm, well maybe the girls? Or maybe just me. I'm not too sure."

"How bout I go down and you and rose come up in a couple days mum?"

"Ok dear, whatever you think will help."

"But may I ask." Esme continued.

"Do you know who erm... Changed Bella?"

"I don't actually, all I saw was the girls red wavy hair from the back but nothing else, no face or anything."

"Hmm."

Carlisle sounded in deep thought.

" The only vampire's I know of that are red heads are the Denali's."

"Fiery bunch they are too... Hah get it?" Emmett boomed.

I guess he was trying to lighten the mood with a famous lame Emmett joke, but it didn't work.

Rose extended her long beautiful arm out and snapped it across Emmett's head of brown hair.

"ROSE, what the hell was that for woman?"

"That was lame and it's the wrong time for jokes silly boy." She replied.

"Jesus." Emmett mumbled rubbing his head.

**EPOV**

I knew something was up; Alice was blocking her thorts with math equations.

This was annoying; I hate that she hide's shit from me when things are so complicated at the moment.

I've been tracking up the boarder of Canada and sleeping in alley ways of little towns, as stupid as it sounds, I feel the most alone I have ever in my entire life, it hurts so bad, the feeling of loss, the part in my arms that my Bella should be in, I should be holding her in my arms and never letting her go, but I can't be greedy, I can't have her hurt anymore and I'm NOT damning her soul, she's much to special do that to.

I'd rather die.

I know it hurt her to leave, but there are other humans out there for her, she's a very beautiful girl.

God, there's so many times I've wanted to go back to her, to beg for her to forgive me, but I've got to protect her, this is for her, I've got to stay strong.

I got to my family's house, which was here in our relocation place of Florida.

It isn't home for me; it never will be, so I only drop in on occasion.

I headed towards the door of the silent house, I knew then something was up, everyone was too quiet, either they were hiding something or they were all mind mutes.

Hmm, well whatever it is, I'm about to find out...


End file.
